Naming the longing beneath the fear

Your capacity for genuine connection exists—you demonstrated it right here. The challenge isn't whether you can connect, but understanding what helps you feel safe enough to do so.

“spk_0: I'm a little under the weather today... spk_1: I'm sorry, you got a cold. spk_0: ...I'm like basically like pre-diabetic and the like adjustment to it is real rough.”

You're not just passively receiving help—you're an active participant who can recognize growth, offer support, and contribute to the relationship. That's powerful.

“spk_1: Well, I feel like you and I have been making stunning progress, so, uh, you're, you're still doing fine. I wouldn't have to worry about that. spk_0: Like I would never know. I'm so, I am so glad, yeah, sometimes things like this are like, wow, I am capable of much more than I ever thought.”

You have direct evidence that the right kind of connection doesn't drain you—it actually helps you feel more like yourself. This can guide you toward relationships and moments that truly nourish you.

“spk_0: Because this is a relationship and you might feel this too, like I can also like go into a session and be like, wow, I feel like shit, and then um I don't know, I think it's like the back and forth actually like by the end sometimes I'll be like, oh I I actually like feel better... spk_1: I mean, I feel that way.”

You can question power dynamics, even in relationships where someone cares about you. Naming when something doesn't feel right is not ungrateful—it's essential to your well-being and to genuine connection.

“spk_0: I think this has been really present. In my brain as we've been kind of like, now, I feel like we're we've been in the space of like, how do we just like navigate. The impact of that session... And Autonomy and control... my priority has been helping cause it seems like kind of what you were saying is right, like I didn't want to do this session. Yes, I made a choice, but I didn't really feel like I had a choice.”

Soothing yourself isn't the same as being controlled by your pain—it's creating enough stability to do the deeper work of healing.

“spk_0: Well, I think some of this too is that like, I think why these parts feel In conflict with one another is There's kind of like Almost view it. In like tears, if that makes sense of like there's kind of these unmet needs in ways that they do need soothed, but then like right underneath that is like the deeper wound”

Recognizing a pattern that's been with you for years isn't discouraging—it's the first step toward finally healing it at its source.

“spk_0: One thing that, OK, before we go there, I wanna do a small tangent and come back and this is related... was This part has this like longing to be consoled and held, and how this kind... It's just it, but it also views Emily as powerful and him as powerless”

Your relationship anxiety isn't a flaw—it's a younger part of you still trying to heal from old wounds by seeking a different ending.

“spk_0: Like a good way to, yeah, I think a good way to put it right is like this part has really anxious attachment with Emily and like self could have secure attachment with Emily, but that doesn't mean that. This part... there's so many just like themes of deeply rooted anxiety when it comes to relating to Emily”

Healing happens not just in the deep work, but also in moments of genuine human connection where you're simply seen and enjoyed.

“I don't know about you, but as I age I'm like I like to talk during the day instead of my... When do you have kids, you're like, I'm, it's dark like we gotta be at home”